Nice WAHMs Do Finish Last
I was always taught that it was important to be a “nice” girl.
Apparently, I learned that lesson well. As a child, my teachers always praised me for being so nice. My parents bragged to their friends about how easy I was to manage. When I overheard classmates talk about me, it was always the same thing: “Denise is really nice.”
Yes, my being “nice” sure made a lot of other people really happy. But, after a while I began to realize something. It didn’t do a whole lot for me!
Instead of doing what I wanted, I would go along with other people’s ideas… just to be “nice.” If someone wronged me, I would take the blame because it was the “nice” thing to do. Instead of saying what I really thought about something, I would support someone else’s opinion, because I wanted to be “nice.”
What I have learned is that not only does being nice not do much for me, other people don’t really like “nice” people either. We want people to say what they really want to do. Most of us want to hear what people really think. Maybe we can learn from a differing opinion, or maybe it will reinforce our own.
There is a difference between being “nice” and being “kind.” I do strive to be kind to everyone I meet. But sometimes being kind means you shouldn’t be nice. For example, if a colleague asks for your honest opinion on her website – and you hate it. Being “nice” would mean you would tell her it’s great. But to be kind would be to tell her what you honestly think… constructively, of course.
If you want to be successful in your WAHM business, there is no place for nice. When you begin to be honest and say what you really think, you’ll find that you’ll attract people who like what you have to say. They may not even agree with you, but they’ll appreciate your honesty. And it makes you seem more trustworthy. If you’re someone who is real about who she is, they believe you’ll be real with them too.
Is there an area in your business where you’re being “nice” instead of kind? Maybe you’ve been too lax in letting customers call you at home. You’re holding your tongue, but you’re getting ready to blow. Maybe there’s a trend in your industry that you believe is a really bad idea, but you don’t want to be the one to say so… because you’re a “nice” girl.
Whatever area you catch yourself being “nice” in, stop it right now! Nice girls do finish last. Be kind instead, and everyone will win.
~ Denise
May 11th, 2010 at 10:28 am
Back in my younger days, I was the “nice” girl too. I wanted to please everyone and at the same time, some people took advantage of that.
Over the years, I found who I really was. I am the nice (kind) girl, but I was more confident, knew what I wanted and knew how I wanted to be treated. I also realized my opinions were worth something and I became more vocal.
Fantastic post Denise!